


you’re gone and i gotta stay (high)

by Anonymous



Category: Daredevil (TV), Jessica Jones (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Alcoholic Jessica Jones, F/M, Guilt, Jessica Jones Needs a Hug, Matt Murdock Makes Bad Decisions, POV Jessica Jones, Post-Episode: s01e08 The Defenders, Sort Of, Survivor Guilt, that should be a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 14:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18592711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Matt Murdock dies at Midland Circle. Unsurprising, Jessica Jones doesn’t deal with it well.





	you’re gone and i gotta stay (high)

Jessica Jones takes a swig of whiskey and shouts, “Fuck you, Matt Murdock,” into the black void that is the polluted New York night sky, knowing he can’t hear her.

Stupid self-sacrificing bastard for dying at Midland Circle; for letting himself get crushed to death, or stabbed by his ninja girlfriend, or however the fuck he died. Stupid selfish bastard for leaving everyone else to bear the guilt of being responsible for his death.

The thing is, it was so easy to like Matt Murdock, and Jessica Jones, as a principle, did not like people. With his unfairly charming smirks and dumb jokes and ever-present Catholic guilt, it was near impossible not to get to pulled into his self-destructive orbit. Foggy Nelson did; Karen Page did; hell, for a while, even Claire Temple did.

Jessica thinks about something Claire told her after Murdock’s funeral, which they both studiously avoided, opting to go to a bar together instead. In the dingy, dimly lit bar, Claire whispered to Jessica, as if it were some great secret, that all the great martyrs died bloody and alone. _Sounds about right_ , Jessica had thought bitterly, and asked the concerned-looking bartender for another drink.

Jessica wasn’t sure anything short of an act of god, maybe not even that, could have stopped Murdock from staying behind in that cave. But that didn’t stop her from wondering what she could have done to save him and asking herself why it was that anyone she let herself care about—lowered her boundaries for even a little bit—got hurt. 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay but consider this, once their Netflix contracts expire, Charlie Cox and Krysten Ritter get their own Disney+ show. Their characters complement each other so well 💜


End file.
